Blog Challenge #4: Personal Post (or Ten Things You Don't Know About Me)

         This one was hard for me. I just assume people already know everything about me because I am really an open book. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, my shoe shopping profile is completely honest, and what you see is what you get. So I guess my honesty would be number 1:

1.      Ask me a question and I'll answer it truthfully. I can't lie. I'm horrible at it. BUT, if you don't ask me, I'm not going to just confess. Doesn't make me a liar. Just don't see the point in telling you something that may upset you or something that is none of your business. All of us want to be seen in the best light. In my teens I always knew that my parents would find out and I'd get in trouble. My mom always knew when I was lying. She was scary good. I picked that skill up when I had kids of my own. Now I'm the scary good one.  I  was really good at lying when I was in my twenties. I did it a lot. I saw what it did to my family when I was in my twenties and I didn't want it to continue. So, if you want to know something about me, just ask.
2.          When I was growing up I wanted to be an actress. I took drama in school, auditioned for plays in college, and moved to California when I was 25 to seek fame and fortune. I was an extra in several TV shows and a couple movies, a production assistant in a couple shows, got to see all of the behind-the-scenes goings-on, met a lot of really famous people (which gives you the opportunity to see if said famous person is a nice person, or a complete jerk. Ask me! I have great stories), and realized that I was not cut out to be rich and famous. 
3.      Okay, fine. Who did I meet? As I said, I have great stories. Tom Selleck: met him at the final wrap party for Magnum PI. That man is amazing. His brothers are also. Great family. I shook his hand, told him it was an honor to meet him, and secretly drooled inside. Mel Gibson: I loved that man (before he was crazy). I had the opportunity to get on the set of Lethal Weapon 2. Mind you I was 26, tall, thin, long hair. I actually got a double-take from Mel Gibson. (I still giggle inside when I think about it) Then he found me watching a scene he wasn't in. Had I really thought ahead of time, I would have had my phone number written on a piece of paper and handed it to him. But I didn't think ahead of time. Anyway, he talked to me about camera work and then stepped in front of me. I was one foot away from being able to touch that gorgeous hair. But, I didn't want to be arrested so I resisted. Best story ever. Jack Nicholson: I got to be an extra on "The Two Jakes" for a couple of scenes. That man is so strange BUT he has the BEST stories. And he was a nice guy. That was a great experience. I met Janet Jackson before she was really famous. She was nice. Got hugs from John Schneider every time I saw him. Wonderful man. And met many others with names you probably wouldn't recognize but I remember them. Great year and a half of my life. 
4.       (this is harder than I thought) I flunked 7th grade math because I chose to doodle on all of my papers instead of actually doing the work. Couldn't help it. I am a doodler. If I am talking on the phone, I am probably drawing squares or flowers (depending on my mood) on the nearest piece of paper. Even now, painting is the most relaxing thing I can do for myself. It's my soul letting go of the body that is holding onto it. I had a company years ago and I made porcelain dolls. The company name was Creative Outlets. The name spoke volumes to me. Anyway, I had to take 7th grade math over again in 9th grade with a bunch of 7th graders. Talk about embarrassing!!
5.      I didn't get my driver's license until I was 23. I was already married and the mother of a gorgeous little boy. I never got my license before this because I never needed to. When they offered driver's ed in high school, I was a cheerleader (I know you're surprised to hear that one) and I was busy after school so I couldn't take it. I always had someone to drive me around. My mom, family, friends, boyfriends. It was never necessary. When I went to college, a friend let me drive his Subaru on a long, dark stretch of I-15. When I lived in Utah when I was 20, a friend let me borrow his Ford Falcon (it had red hub caps). I almost smashed into a curb making a wide left turn. He was extremely trusting. So, when I decided to get my driver's license, I had to take driver's ed at the local high school with a bunch of teenagers. They thought I was their age. When they found out I wasn't, they called me mom. I'm glad I didn't get my license before then. I consider myself a pretty good driver, albeit fast. I love to drive. 
6.       My favorite scent in the whole wide world (yes, really) is lavender. Not the fake stuff they concoct in a lab, but the real smell. I can tell the difference. I never liked lavender because all I was smelling was the fake stuff. Then I did a craft show in the middle of a lavender farm and discovered its wonderfulness. Lavender relaxes me when I'm stressed. It sends me to my happy place. Oh, and while I'm at it, while I love roses (the kind I grow in my garden), I prefer daisies. You know, in case someone ever thinks to get me flowers. Daisies are happy flowers. 
7.      I have had every color of hair possible. I was born blonde then my hair went dark when I got into my teens. High school I was blonde, then I went brunette, really REALLY blonde (after a brief unintended stint at orange hair), black, and then I was a redhead for about 15 years. I have had blue-black hair for only about 6 months. I was getting compared to Sharon Osborne at work when I had red hair and I decided I didn't want to hear that anymore so I went black. I think it looks pretty good if I do say so myself. 
8.      I can sing. My two sisters have beautiful voices also and the three of us together are amazing. If my mom had only thought to exploit us when we were young, we could have been the next Andrew's Sisters. I've done a couple solos (only because I get so nervous when I sing alone in public), a couple of duets with my (ex) husband, and a lot of singing along with Barbra Streisand, Karen Carpenter, Pink, and great disco songs from the seventies. If you pass me in my car you'll witness it. I can't drive without singing. Road trips with my daughter consist of a lot of singing. She's got a gorgeous voice also. Together we are pretty epic. Typical road trip with my daughter...
9.      I want to be a travel writer. I know, I think I said that before in an earlier blog. Actually, I want to get PAID to travel and travel writing, or being a tour guide, seem to be the way to do it. I've also applied a couple of times to be a flight attendant but I think you'd see the inside of a tin can more than you would see the world. I want to see the world. Right now the path is: Save money; travel; save money; travel. I am a plane ticket away from going anywhere I want to go. 
10.      This one is the hardest one for me which is why I saved it for the last: I have really horrible self-esteem. It's better than it was 10 years ago, even better than 20 years ago, but it's still there. That's why dating is really hard for me. I wonder if I will ever be in love again. If there is one date with a guy I think I like, and then he never speaks to me again, I start wondering what the heck I said or did wrong. Not pretty enough? Not thin enough? Not blonde enough? Hair not long enough? Three dates and then no call? What the heck? I blame myself. I have to actually remind myself that it wasn't about me. It was their choice...and it was probably a good idea that they didn't call again. When I look in the mirror I have to force myself to see the beautiful side of me, not the flaws. If I don't get hired for a job, I pick myself and the interview process apart. I don't actually think I deserve a sweet, nice, honest, good-looking guy. That's the hardest part for me. They'll never choose me. They will go out with me once or twice, but they will always choose someone else. SO, I fight my daily mental self-abuse on a daily basis. It's a constant struggle between my old thought process and my new thought process. Someday I hope to completely erase the old thought process but, until then, I'll just keep waking up each day with positive thoughts, being happy, being nice to other people, and I'll keep looking for Mr. Wonderful.