A Stroll in the Woods or Where I Found My Peace

     

      After my faster-than-the-speed-of-light bad date on October 20th, I left the restaurant and headed east into the mountains. I was seriously needing some nature time. I wanted to take pictures of the fall leaves, and I knew that spending time in the quiet of nature would be cleansing for my heart, my head, and my soul. I was craving it. I drove around until I found access to a trail, grabbed my water bottle and my phone, and headed up. 

I wasn't wearing hiking shoes, or even tennis shoes, of any kind. I had on the shoes that I had worn all over Rome, and they were frequently my "date" shoes. They are the most comfortable shoes I own. No tread here. They are most definitely not hiking shoes. 

     There was only one vehicle parked in the lot so I knew I had the place almost to myself. Perfect. I am a self-proclaimed "tough broad" so I wasn't worried that I was hiking alone. (My friends were concerned though!) I was more concerned about the spiders hanging from the trees as I walked through than I was any possible predators. 

     
(I let him live. This was his home, not mine. However, if he showed up in mine, he was most definitely toast.)










     There were two paths. One headed around the woods out into the open and stayed very level. I watched a speed-walking couple head in that direction and started to follow them. No challenge that I could see. I wanted a challenge. Plus I wanted solitude. Some place with less walkers. I headed in the other direction and took the path (road) less traveled which headed uphill through some trees. This trail was covered with leaves, while the other was clear, and looked like no one had taken it for at least a day. I thought if I headed up into the woods instead of following the easy path I might miss a better view.

 I wound thru trees and rocks heading up into the hills. I didn't know what I would find, or how far it was to the top. I wasn't in any hurry. The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky, a soft breeze blowing through the branches. I stopped once in awhile to rest and think. Mostly I stopped because I was out of breath! Not a hiker. Not used to walking uphill. I was really glad that I was by myself. It could have been embarrassing had I been with an experienced hiker. Either way, the woods were amazing. The sound, the smell. It was beautiful. 

     I just kept following the path even though it led me over large rocks and under low branches. Trust me, I tread carefully, watching each step. There was no moment where I thought I should go back. The top was my goal.

     

     

The path became more rocky and more steep. But the view was incredible.

My goal was the top. 


I know, right? 
Aaaahhhhmazing...

And then I reached this spot. It was a lot of loose rock and shale. I carefully crossed over the top of it and started to head higher up the path. The path that headed higher into the woods was smooth, soft dirt. No switchbacks. Just straight up. And then I stopped and sat down right in the middle of the path.

     I remember a moment in my life when I was 17. I had been playing "handball," throwing a tennis ball against our brick wall in the driveway, when the ball went up onto the roof. I was home alone. I didn't think twice. I wanted that ball back. I climbed the metal trellis that ran up next to the front porch and got on the roof. No problem. Got the ball. No problem. Then went to climb back down. Problem. I couldn't bring myself to take that first step back onto the trellis. It required that I turn myself around, facing backwards to the edge and lower myself down. I was afraid. I stood on the roof and began plotting my way down. Climbing back down the trellis was not an option. The only way down was to jump off of the roof. 
     I started flashing back to the TV shows of that time period that I watched: Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman. They could jump. They always landed safely. Why couldn't I? Funny thing is, I thought I could jump and land safely, but I didn't have the courage to climb down the trellis. In reality, that would have been the safer choice. Obviously I wasn't thinking in reality. 
     I stared down at the ground and plotted which way I should jump to get the safest landing. Between the porch roof and the chain link fence that ran around are yard, there was about a five foot space. I would have to jump across that space and clear the fence to land safely on the grass. I could hear the music from The Bionic Woman playing in my head. It was my theme song. With the bravery of Jaime Sommers, I lept. 

     I don't know how to do the collapse-softly-when-you-land thing. I landed hard. I managed to clear the sidewalk, and the chain link fence but I heard, and felt, my foot crack when I landed. I sat down on the grass, looked around to make sure no one had seen me land, and limped into the house. After a couple of weeks limping at school, I was fine. It was only a crack in my foot. 

       So, as I sat there on that trail looking back down the rocks I had just climbed over, I plotted the continuation of my climb up the mountain. I was thinking about how they tell you not to look back at your past mistakes, but to look forward instead and plot your course. I felt as though my looking back at where I had come from up this trail, and in my life, had helped me become who I was today. My past experiences had made me strong. It was okay to look back, as long as there are no regrets. You can't change the past, you can only grow from it. I have definitely grown from it. 
      My head kept telling me to climb up, keep going. I wanted to be the fearless woman I always claimed to be. I was afraid I would be disappointed in myself if I stopped where I was and didn't continue on. I wanted no regrets.

How far I'd come

How far I'd reached.

     Then I listened to my heart. My soul was telling me that I had gone far enough and it would be okay to stop where I was and head back down. I had already conquered the woods, and the trail I had followed up. It was enough. I should be proud of where I had gone so far. And I did it alone. If your soul says "Yeaaahhh, you should stop here," you should probably listen. I wasn't wearing the right shoes to hike up a mountain with slippery leaves, rocks, and dirt. I went as far as my comfortable touring shoes could go, and then I stopped. 
      I stood up on the trail to head back down, and my feet started to slip on the soft dirt. There was no hiking back down the 6 foot stretch to the rocks I had crossed over. I sat back down on my backside and just slid down the short steep trail on my rear end and my feet. I had made the right choice. I listened to my heart and my soul. They never steer me wrong. They know what I am able to do, and they know what is dangerous and should be avoided, in any experience. 
     The hike was gorgeous anyway. I was not disappointed the entire trip. It cleared my head of junk. It helped me listen to my soul and my heart. The sound of the crickets, the leaves falling from the trees, the wind through the branches. The traffic is a good distance away so it is only a memory.

      I sat on a rock when I got closer to the bottom and captured as much of the beauty and experience as I could.

        I hated leaving the peace and quiet of this place and going back to reality. I live right next to the freeway! Even though I have gotten used to the noise of the freeway, it is still there. In my house, there is no such thing as quiet. I had found it here. 

     This was Heaven.